Leadership

Dealing with Greater Complexity, with Less Stress!

It never gets easier, you just get better.
—Unknown

Imagine if you were completing the same task over and over again. Each day you do it, it seems that the task gets easier, right? Well, not really, because the task is the same — you’re just getting better at it.

But the better you get, the bigger your game needs to be. Otherwise, you won’t feel challenged, and it won’t be as rewarding.

That’s how it works in the world. You work hard on mastering the skills for now, so you’re prepared to take on the bigger challenges next. In sports, you move from beginner, to intermediate to advanced and then professional. You become a better parent for your growing children. You become a better entrepreneur so you can grow your business.

And each step you take builds confidence.

That confidence is important. It’s necessary to help you overcome that Little Voice in your head that causes the stress in your life. And that stress is what’s preventing you from advancing to the next level.

dealing_stressLet’s take a look at some of the things that your little voice may say when you’re faced with a challenge:

  • I’m not successful enough.
  • I’m not a good enough business person.
  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I can’t.
  • I’m too tired.
  • I’m too young (or old).
  • Nobody’s going to like it.
  • Who wants to hear from me?

Do any of these sound familiar? Do they appear in your subconscious? They rob your time, make you prioritize other, more trivial things. You get tired. You procrastinate. All the chatter your little voice makes when you’re thinking about the next challenge is pretty poisonous.

Identify your little voice and get to understand where it comes from. Why are you letting it stop you dead in your tracks? Don’t let it prevent you from fighting the battle to win the war. No one wants to be stuck on the same level, over and over again.

There’s a hero, and there’s a villain inside of you. Who’s going to win today?

For every win you experience, your confidence level goes up. And as we’ve already established, the higher your confidence, the less stress you have. And who doesn’t want less stress in their lives?

And when you have less stress and more confidence, you’re more willing to take on the larger complexities of life and business. You can play the bigger games.

After every big win, you get bigger, and enjoy better and more valuable rewards.

You are supposed to deal with greater complexity, not more stress.

Mastering little voice management reduces stress, so that dealing with greater complexity is more fun and more lucrative. It’s like playing a bigger game with better players and more options.

It’s like getting better and better at the game and wanting to advance in it. In that mode, you don’t want to make the game simpler. You want it to be more challenging; otherwise, there’s no reason to play. Think about games like PlayStation and Game-boy, in which the goal is always to get to higher and higher levels of complexity. Each level requires greater levels of mastery, and in turn, you develop more confidence. You don’t want to go backward you want to go forward. It’s natural. You want to play the game faster, and you blaze through the simpler levels just so you can get to the good part.

But somehow, in life, most people struggle with increased complexity. It’s not about your brain capacity it’s your little voice!

Inside you, there’s a champion and a loser. There’s an angel and a devil. There’s a hero and a villain. The question is, which one is going to win today? Do you even know which one is controlling you right now?

Once you can identify them then you can successfully manage them. No matter who you are, I suspect you know that there is an even bigger, better person inside you. That’s true for me, too. But what stands in the way of that person fully emerging? How do you go from Point A, where you are now, to Point B, which is being the most powerful, passionate, wealthy, and healthy person you know?

For me, what stands in my way is me! And I know its the same for you.

In the book SalesDogs, we said, You don’t have to be an attack dog to be successful in sales. Everybody has a talent; everybody has a different way of being successful – as a poodle, a basset hound, or a retriever. It doesn’t really matter which one of the other dogs you are. Everybody has something valuable to offer. So why don’t we offer it? What’s the resistance?

For example, your internal conversation may start like this: Why don’t you start your own business? You have always wanted to do it.

Then the resistance shows up like this nagging chatter of voices, saying things like: Well, because you’re not smart enough. You don’t know how to set up a business. You’ll starve to death if you try to do that. It’s too risky.

So what causes this? Perhaps you have lost the ability to value yourself, your ideas, and your abilities because you have fallen into the trap of comparing yourself to others. With every success story that the media churns up, with every achievement you see the other guy get you either get challenged or depressed.

never_good_enoughAnd so, you don’t start the program for kids that you constantly think about, or write that book you’ve dreamed of writing? Because you don’t value what you have to offer. You think you aren’t smart enough or that what you’re offering wont be good enough. You say to yourself:

I’m not successful enough. I’m too old.
I’m not a good enough business person.
I don’t know how to write a book.
I can’t.
I don’t know how, and even worse, my information is not that good, not that new.
Its not that different.
I’m too tired.
Who’s going to read it?
I’m too young.
Nobody’s going to like it.
Who wants to hear from me?

You have the dream, but there seems to be resistance. That little voice starts creating big old blocks to achieving your dreams. Stuff comes up, robbing you of the time you would spend on your dream. Other things take greater priority. You get tired. You procrastinate. Sound familiar?

It becomes more important to clean out your garage than to sit down and write a book, because no one is going to read it anyway. This book is about valuing yourself. It’s about overcoming the little voice in your brain that says you aren’t up for the task at hand.

You must learn how to rehabilitate yourself and assess your value properly. Once you do, your value will grow.

The reason many people never get to their dreams is because they are losing the ultimate little voice battle being waged in their brains. I’m talking about their assessment of themselves and who they are-their worthiness, their abilities, and whether they have anything to offer that anybody else would be interested in.

Everybody has something to give, something to offer, even if it’s already been offered before. You have a different way of looking at it. Your idea may appeal to millions of people you’ve never met before who think the way you think.

That’s why it’s important to get a handle on little voice management-so that ultimately, you can make your dream come true and put your idea out to the world for other people to appreciate and benefit from. Resistance (stress) is just little voice stuff standing in your way.

FREE Online Group Study: Mistakes and Their Power in Our Lives

BF

We are doing an online Group Study for members of my training community seeking Certification. Although this training is provided specifically for them, it is also open to my entire training community. Learn more about it below

For a long time, my friend Robert Kiyosaki and I studied the great Buckminster Fullers teachings. Many of his lessons shaped how we came to look at the world and the values we would ultimately choose to live by. Dr. Fuller, who we affectionately call Bucky, wrote a fantastic piece called Mistake Mystique (an excerpt from one of his books). I often use it to teach my students how to learn more effectively, and ultimately, the value of making mistakes.

You see, we are all conditioned from a young age to fear making mistakes. In most cases, this fear controls our lives at a subconscious level and prevents us from living into our true potential and realizing our inner most dreams. Yet, mistakes are actually the way God or the Universe guide us to learn. Changing how we think about mistakes is the first step to freeing ourselves from the paralyzing grip of fear.

Having said that, I invite you to a Group Study session on Mistake Mystique so we can all share the lessons we take from Bucky together; using those lessons to change our own perspective about helping others to learn, allowing ourselves to learn, and making the most of our mistakes!

This is a free online event taking place May 13 at 8am PT/11am ET.

Click here to register for this FREE online Group Study Session now.

Be Awesome!

Blair

Jumpstart Your Business in 2014 with the Rich Dad Advisors

Free Live Video Chat with Rich Dad Advisors

Start your 2014 with powerful insights from Robert Kiyosak is Rich Dad Advisors and learn how to fast track your business success and prosperity in FREE Google Hangout on January 13, 2014 at 4pm PT/7pm ET.

This LIVE video chat will host a panel of entrepreneurs and business experts as they discuss the many challenges entrepreneurs will face in 2014, and how you can overcome them — the SMART way.

RSVP now to the Google Hangout which will also appear as a live video chat on Robert Kiyosak is Facebook page.

Each advisor is an expert in his or her respective field and will be sharing experience and concepts to help you succeed! Here’s a rundown of the experts on the panel and what each of them will bring to the table:

Andy Tanner – Expert Stock Market Investor

  • How to understand and leverage the stock market in 2014 to grow your wealth
  • How to make money no matter what way the market runs – up, down or sideways

Blair Singer – International Sales and Leadership Coach and Author

  • Secrets to Exploding your income in the next 12 months
  • How to attract and create your own Champion Level team in your business

Garrett Sutton – Corporate Structure and Legal Specialist

  • Structuring your business for success and protecting your assets particularly over the next several years

Tom Wheelwright – Tax Specialist

  • How the tax law is a stimulus package for entrepreneurs and investors and how you can take advantage of it
  • How to create real wealth strategies in your business

Darren Weeks – Expert on Raising Capital

  • Funding your own deals no banks involved!
  • How to have investors lined up WANTING to give you money.

Josh and Lisa Lannon – Social Entrepreneurship Experts

  • Creating an inspirational company culture
  • Investing with Purpose, living the entrepreneurial dream

Ken McElroy – Expert in Real Estate, Asset Investing and Business Opportunities

  • Hedging inflation by investing in the right assets
  • Investing Secrets to building a cash flow business

 

To learn more about our expert panelists, please visit: http://www.richdad.com/rich-dad-advisors/advisors.aspx.

During the video chat, you will also have the chance to submit your questions to be answered live by the panelists. You don’t want to miss this unique event!

RSVP now and add this event to your calendar!

Be Awesome!

Blair

 

Blair Singers Top 10: Office Survival Scenarios Contest

Blair Singer's Top 10: Office Survival Scenarios Contest
Blair Singer’s Top 10: Office Survival Scenarios Contest

Every day, for the next 10 days, we will be posting an Office Survival scenario. At the end of the contest, one random winner will win a 30-Minute Coaching Session with me (valued at $2100)!

In our Scenario, today is a BIG DAY. You are pitching a potential client that could mean a big expansion for your business. BUT – like many days, it is filled with challenges (can you relate !). You have to decide which Little Voice Technique can help you survive the day. There’s no right or wrong, just different choices. Winner will be chosen at random, and you can see how your answers compare to others playing.

Can you be the Office Survivor? Play and see. Tune in to our Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/blairsinger1 to play.

 

Below is a list of the different Little Voice Techniques referenced in the contest to help you with your choices.

Little Voice Techniques

Technique 1: Handling Success

Handling success refers to your ability to internalize and personalize your success, as well as help your friends and family do the same. It also includes anchoring your success and calling on it when dealing with difficult situations, as well as, using it to develop learned optimism which can help you increase your overall effectiveness, productivity and sales performance by an average of 34%!Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 2: How to Deal with Adversity

Dealing with adversity is the ability to isolate a negative situation and externalize it versus personalizing it, as well as the ability to NOT give it pervasive or global influence across other parts of your life.Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 3: How to React in the Face of Fear

Reacting to fear refers to the ability to call upon prior successes to help shore up your confidence and self-esteem – so you take on a frightening situation with a winning attitude. It is literally the ability to turn fear into resourcefulness and power instantly. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 4: How to Debrief and Leverage any Situation

Debriefing will help you leverage current experiences for similar situations in the future. This means doing a thorough and objective examination of what happened, what worked, what did not work and what was learned when reviewing important situations. It is your ability to turn even a negative experience into positive learning experience. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 5: Celebrate All Wins!

Celebrating all wins is critical every time you get one. If you do, you can use them in the face of adversity and intimidation to bring up the energy for you and all of those around you! You want to be sure to celebrate every win you can for you and others. By minimizing your accomplishments, you take your energy and resourcefulness down and make it more difficult on yourself to take on bigger challenges. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 6: How to Shift Your Mood Quickly

It is important to be able to shift out of a negative mood quickly. The ability to clarify the game you are playing, the mood you are in and recalling just how big of a person you are can shift your mood very quickly. By doing that, you don’t lose sight of the dreams you want to achieve. If you make all of your decisions from a place of negativity, you are effectively shrinking yourself and any potential win you may achieve. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 7: How to Overcome the Fear of Making Mistakes

One highly effective way to overcome fear involves re-framing how you look at nervousness and mistakes. If you can learn to celebrate mistakes and nervousness, you will increase your own confidence and energy enabling you to deal with challenging and riskier situations in a positive way. This is important because, in most instances, the person with the highest energy wins! Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 8: How to Successfully Deal with Failed or Unaccomplished Goals

It is important to manage your response to failed goals so that you can maintain high energy, performance and expectations you want for yourself. One of the best ways to do this is to look at what you DID achieve while striving towards your goals. Give yourself credit for achieving important goals you did not initially know you had despite having missed the initial goal you were pursuing-puts you in the winners circle and helps you move forward! Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 9: Achieving Your Goals

All goals need to be written, time-limited, and measurable. Some people take these steps, but get paralyzed by the fears that they have around their goals. You have to override your fear and keep repeating the process of challenging your fear until your energy comes up. Using fear to bring your energy up gives you a much better likelihood of achieving your goal and moving past whatever you are afraid of. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 10: How to be Totally, 100% Present

Learn to be present and give the gift of real connection to your family and the other people you are with! Quieting the Little Voice and being present allows you to connect with people in ways that most of us ever take the time to do, encouraging people to want to communicate and work with us. It is not the amount of time you spend its how present you are with the people you are with. The best communicators and negotiators are the most present with whomever they are talking to. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 11: How to Anchor Love to Give you Power in the Moment

Anchoring love is done by recalling a time you felt 100% loved and being able to access this memory particularly during times of intimidation, fear and adversity. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 12: How to Use Bragging to Expand Your Presence and Change Your State of Mind

There is a time and a place for everything, even bragging! Practicing bragging as an exercise can help you break through inhibitions, shyness, fear, and ultimately reduce the debilitating thoughts that come from caring too deeply about what other people think about you! Just remember it is a sales exercise – not something to actually do in conversation and sales calls. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 13: How to Handle Any Objection Under the Sun

Handling objections is more about you than the other person. Many times, we personalize other peoples objections (especially when they tell us its personal; like they don’t want to buy from us or work with us because they think were unreliable or stupid!) When we take objections personally, we get emotional. When our emotions go up, our intelligence goes down. Practicing handling objections with someone else until they no longer trigger an emotional response will help you handle almost any objection you get without losing your cool or your self-confidence! Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 14: How to Banish Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve Thinking and Regain Power

When you feel down on yourself for not accomplishing all of your goals, create a list of all the things you would have done if you did not have a justification for not doing them. Write the justifications next to each item. As you read the list and justifications, you will come realize how small your justifications are compared to the things you could achieve. This will help you quiet your Little Voice and regain your energy and optimism. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 15: How to Pinpoint Your Real Emotions So You Can Free Up Your

Being able to help others (and yourself) identify the emotion that is impacting decision making during a conversation will help keep things positive and in motion. When you or someone is responding with negative emotions, do not try to deal with the issue – start dealing with the emotion instead. A person in a high emotional state will not be thinking rationally. Ask them how or what they are feeling. Ask them what specifically is driving that feeling. Helping someone identify their own emotional tone will automatically begin to dissipate the emotion. Ultimately, everyone will return to rational thinking and you can solve the issue at hand. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 16: How to Choose How You Want to Feel

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others is the ability to choose the mood you or the other person wants to be in. Figure out where you currently are on the scale of emotions. Then ask yourself how you want to feel. This question will usually help to move you up to a more positive emotion. Understanding how to choose your mood can take yourself or someone else from a low tone emotion like apathy, fear, impatience, or frustration to a more positive tone, like enthusiasm, excitement or interest. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 17:- How to Bring Yourself and Your Group into the Present

When groups come together to make progress of some sort, it is important that everyone be mentally and emotionally present and available to fully participate. Allowing everyone to share what it is that they feel like saying before a meeting begins without fear of judgment or interruption is a great way to get an entire groups Little Voices out of the way, and gets everyone in the group to be present. This can also be done on an individual basis to help acknowledge a Little Voice and then allow you to be present again instead of caught up in what the Little Voice is saying. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 18: How to Call It: Clearing Up the Unspoken Problems that Block Success

Sometimes you have to have the courage to stop a conversation and Call it. Calling it is something you do when you sense that others may not be speaking what is REALLY on their minds or when you suspect hidden agendas in the air. It is simply calling a time out and saying what you believe is being thought by the others, but not stated. Calling it will get people present whether what you called them on is right or wrong, and keep them focused on the task at hand. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 19: Overcoming I Can’t Do It!

Many times our Little Voice will tell us we cannot do something because we really don’t want to do it. If you want to overcome the response of I cant for important opportunities, determine whether you really believe you cant, or see if there is a reason you don’t want to. If the reason is fear of failure or justifications that are not legitimate, deal with that Little Voice so you can take another look at saying, Yes, I can. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

Technique 20: Overcoming I Don’t Know How to Do It!

New risks and challenges can really stir up your Little Voice to resist you. Once you are at the edge of your comfort zone, your Little Voice can tell you, I don’t know how! because the experience feels scary, risky and intimidating. Learning how to overcome this challenge requires you to tap into your positive energy and self-confidence around things you DO know how to do and from that place, ask yourself If you did know how, what would you do Many times, you will discover that you have a pretty good idea of what to do after all. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!

As Robert Kiyosaki has said many times, When it comes to winning it’s ALL about the Little Voice. Join the hundreds-of-thousands of people who have learned-how to master these Little Voice techniques in order to achieve their-maximum potential and success.

I invite you to take a tour of my Virtual training Academy where I will teach you how to master your Little Voice in short and easy-to-follow, one-one-one training sessions that include interactive exercises for maximum learning! Click here for a free tour of the Virtual training Academy and discover how to master YOUR Little Voice! Use Promo code CONT13 to save 50% off published price!

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UPDATE- CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNER:-Jennifer Miscovich

Leadership at 19,340 Feet

I wrote earlier about our amazing experience recently climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. While I learned many life changing lessons on that mountain, I chose to write separately about something else I learned there that may be invisible to most. It is a lesson about leadership.

Taking average folks from the comfort of their Scottsdale homes to the outstretched arms and spirits of children in need in far-away Tanzania, and then safely to the top of the largest free standing mountain in the world, is the work of incredible leaders. Leaders by the way, unsung in the world of business, media, social gatherings and popular circles.

The leaders of K2 Adventures did what I talk about in all my programs in a way that I have seen few do it. They created a CONTEXT or environment without workshops, without preaching, without snappy slogans, without books, podcasts, seminars, titles, broadcasts or endorsements that not only transformed all of us on the expedition, but have become instrumental in transforming a country.

Kevin Cherilla
Kevin Cherilla

In the last 5 years, Kevin Cherilla and Kristen Sandquist have raised over 2.5 million dollars for medical equipment, resources, and supplies for an orphanage and school in Moshi Tanzania. It is part of their quest to support disabled and disenfranchised children and families around the world by providing healthcare and education from the proceeds of their expeditions and charitable fundraising.

 

Kristen Sandquist
Kristen Sandquist

I could spend thousands of words talking about the immense heart and spirit that they and their team exhibit supporting kids that the world has given up on and left behind. They do this in Tanzania, Peru, Nepal and across the US.

You see each mountain that they climb represents the even bigger mountains that these kids have to climb either to stay alive or to have a life; mountains of disease, abandonment, blindness, poverty, and lack of education. As a student of great leaders and building championship teams, I took note of what they did to get others to step up to such great heights (literally).

K2Leadership Secrets:

As always, it is about creating a context or environment that creates extraordinary results not words.

  1. Create and identify narrow time boundaries. Kevin and Kristen were always very clear to tell us to never ask about what was going to happen tomorrow or the next day. We were only allowed to ask about today. We were told about how many hours we would be climbing and what to expect, but nothing more. Everything was compartmentalized into understandable and limited time frames. Wake-up to breakfast, hiking to lunch, hiking to camp, unpacking and rest, afternoon tea and dinner sleep. I always say that most people cannot plan past lunch. Long term goals and strategies are fine, but to keep a team focused you have to shrink the space.
  2. Eliminate uncertainty through preparation and frequency of contact. Lots of mental stress comes from not knowing how to prepare for the unknown. Every night at dinner we were told what the next day would look like, what to pack and how to pack it. How many times have you ever thrown your team into a task and let them figure it out. Months before leaving, we had team meetings, team hikes and team packing parties. We learned to be comfortable with our gear, our bodies and our tasks. It eliminated a whole chunk of potential anxiety and worry about what will happen and questioning if am I prepared.
  3. Tight rules. Never pass the lead guide on the trail, stay together, be on time, drink lots of water, etc. It brought the team closer together. You felt safe because, while you were way outside your normal comfort zone, you were safe inside a bandwidth that you knew you could trust and did not have to think about. Once at the summit, our orders were clear. Take your pictures and start your decent right away. Those who were showing signs of altitude sickness go immediately. Even in moments of victory, close vigilance was maintained. Many times that is when we take our eye off the game in order to celebrate. Lives depended on it.
  4. Lots of humor. Everyone on the team got a nickname. My son was sleeping beauty because while most of us had trouble sleeping at higher altitudes, he would crash at 7:30 and sleep like a rock until 6:30 the next morning. It made for lots of laughs. Mine was peebottle because it took me two days to finally use a pee bottle in my tent at night rather than getting dressed and having to go out of my tent to weather the cold in the middle of the freezing nights. Laughter breaks the tension, reminds you that you are human and that nothing is so big that you cannot enjoy and laugh at and with each other.
  5. Forced focus and presence. We were continually told to focus on our feet, one step at a time. Only inches at a time. It forced your whole perception to narrow to a very small space at your feet. We were told, rest step and pressure breath over and over. So that became a kind of a mantra that created a rhythm and a focus that over 5 days got us to the top.
  6. Removal of distractions that would cause stress to the team. There were 3 porters for every one of us on the climbing team. They carried the food, tents, supplies and most of our mountain gear. They were at our tents at 6:30 every morning with coffee and tea, cooked delicious meals, cleaned up, broke camp and set it up again the next day. All we had to worry about was ourselves, getting rest, eating a lot and hiking. As a leader, you need to eliminate the distractions that cause your team to wander, de-focus and stress out. Keep them focused on what they are setting out to achieve. How well do you take care of them?
  7. Being tireless students of their own trade. Kevin and Kristen continue to take classes on mountain safety, first responder courses, the local culture and the details of conditioning and training. Do you love what you do enough to be a voracious student about it? It reflects.
  8. No smoke but tons of encouragement. They rarely told us you will make it. Rather they were always there in or alongside our team hiking column periodically saying, Great job keep working youre doing great! Their words always came at the right moments to feed depleted lungs and tired muscles with the right amount of energy.
  9. Continually watching the team. They seemed to know exactly when the team was waning a bit. They watched us all day like hawks, coming up to us individually and asking how we were doing, how we were feeling and just as you thought you were fading, they would magically call a break for rest, food and water. It always seemed like the perfect time. Are you focused only on the objective or are you continually watching and calibrating your team?
  10. Incredible graciousness. Their treatment of the porters, guides, locals and the community was nothing short of magnificent. In fact, the whole reason for the expedition was to support the kids in the school and orphanage. Serving others who serve you is the stuff of great leaders. The friendship, trust, camaraderie and caring between K2 and those who supported our expedition, creates a context in which K2 is always welcome back, always watched out for and always appreciated.

At 19,340 feet it seems to come together, but you know what? It starts way before that. It is about creating a context that is designed specifically for the outcome that you want. Creating an environment that is safe, certain, gracious, fun and rigorous takes work. What I can tell you is that their work changes lives.

Thank you Kevin and Kristen for giving so much by being the awesome leaders that you are.

To learn more about K2Adventures, visit them at their website: http://www.k2adventures.org

LIFE CHANGING LESSONS FROM MT. KILIMANJARO

They say that Kilimanjaro will test a person in ways that you never expect. Some of the most fit and agile athletes succumb to the fatigue, muscle stress and rarified altitude conditions that lie ahead on such a climb. With her glistening glaciers sparkling in the distance, she both invites you and taunts you at the same time. Kili even touched Earnest Hemingway years ago when he referred to the Snows of Kilimanjaro as the House of God.

However, few people are ever able to actually touch those snows and claim a place at the top of Africa. As many of you know, last year, my son Ben and I attempted that climb as part of a community service project supporting amazing children and teachers in an orphanage and school in Moshi Tanzania.

This life changing experience is the brain child and part of the mission of K2 Adventures Foundation who is committed to supporting children worldwide that are disabled, disenfranchised and in need of education and healthcare. (I will write again about the amazing lessons of leadership I learned from the K2 team!!)

Some of you also know what transpired on this attempt a year ago. While the days with the kids were life changing, little did I know that a few days later, Kili would test us in a way I never imagined. On the second day, we had to turn back because Ben got extremely ill. Unable to hold fluids and losing strength with every step, I had to make a decision whether to send him down the mountain for medical care or to go with him to support him. I will not go into that story again, but it suffices to say that moment at 10,000 feet changed my life. I realized that there was something bigger than a mountain called love. That the mountain would always be there but the relationship with Ben was so much bigger. So we never made it up the mountain.

Yet, months later in our living room watching a video of that same team summiting the mountain, Ben turned to me and said, We have to go back and finish! He said, Dad there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about not completing that climb. Now you have to get that my son has never really been the break all barriers, take on every challenge, never give up type of kid. Yet Kili had touched his heart in a way that dozens of coaches, teachers, friends, role models and even parents had not been able to do. He wanted to go back.

On July 3, 2013 at 11:10AM we fell into each others arms crying and celebrating as we reached Uhuru Peak at 5895 meters (19,340 ft) the highest point in Africa the largest free standing mountain in the world.

It is said that the only thing better than winning is winning at something that has previously knocked you back. So true. As we stood there in the brilliant sunlight, breathing deeply for those rare oxygen molecules, I handed him a key chain that I had been secretly carrying. It said: We start together, we finish together I will always have your back – Dad.

Yes Kili will test your endurance. She will test your strength. She will test your will and your Spirit. But as a famous song says; a heros strength is measured by their heart? she tests your heart. She grabbed the heart of a 17 year old kid and his father and tested it to the max and then taunted us, coaxed us, but touched us to complete our mission together. She taught me love in 2012 and then showed me the magic of a whole new level of love that comes with commitment.

She also showed me true peace. In 2012 I learned peace by making the right decision based upon my values and Code of Honor. In 2013 I learned peace in another way.

You see one of the biggest things I learned this time was to BE PRESENT. The climb was clearly one step at a time, very slowly for 6 days. I learned how to get in touch with a very deep connection between my emotions, thoughts, Spirit and body. It was amazing. When I learned about how high altitude actually affects your body and the criticalness of CO2 and Oxygen exchange, every night in my tent I would say to myself…”My body is the perfect exchanger of CO2 and O2.” I made it a point that I would train my body to master this exchange all through the week with each step and each breath.

Guess what? By the time we got to the summit, while others were feeling weak and even sick… I was jumping around, having a blast and felt literally on top of the world.

Physically it was grueling. There were times that it was difficult to keep going, but by just focusing on one step at a time – it all worked.

At about 15,000 feet (4600 meters) I felt a shift. It was as if we had left humanity behind and had now moved into a new dimension. The rocky walls, Mars-like landscape, glaciers and snow felt like we had moved into God’s realm. The strange and powerful silence, whirling winds, brilliant stars, the flooring of clouds so far below us made you feel closer to heaven or eternity for some strange reason.

I learned that presence and focus were the rules of the day. There was no past, no future, no thoughts about business or anything… just the task at hand. I have never before really felt all outside anxiety just melt away like that, particularly for that long! Such peace amidst such hard work and so much fun.

I learned that your Spirit, your thoughts, your emotions and your body can become one seamless Spirit. That you are so much more than any one of those components. They say that Kilimanjaro will always test you and teach you something.

This time it taught me that my being-ness, when present and in the moment, is more powerful and magical than I ever imagined. That without distractions, I got stronger with altitude while others got weaker. That I became more Spiritual as others got fatigued and edgy. That I fell more in love with myself and others around me, more centered and more peaceful the more present and focused I became. It was about one breath and one step and then another breath and another step. In some strange way, it was heaven.

For Ben, he now walks with a different gait. He has an aura of peacefulness, confidence, power and warmth that is infectious to all around him. He is in such a great place.

A few days later, as our plane departed and we climbed above the cloud line, I saw Kili one more time glistening in the now fading sunlight. In a strange way I felt sad to leave. Like I was leaving a great teacher, great mentor, great companion, great lover behind. She gave me so much love, relationship, peace, Spirit, strength, closeness to God. Kili will always challenge you in ways you do not expect. I thank her for helping me be who I always hoped I could be.

The Mountain Leadership Experience trips transform ordinary people into a championship team. Get inspired, motivated, and be the best your team can be. Get more information by visiting the MLE website, and be ready to change your life!

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