Archives for December 2013

Wow. I can’t believe that 2013 is nearly over. It seems that time went faster than usual this year, that the plans I set to complete have not quite kept up with the pace of my vision that my kids all of a sudden got a LOT older. It’s now Holiday season and I am still having to remind myself to date documents with 2013 instead of 2012!

This holiday season, there have been many thoughts whirling through my mind. From the peak of Kilimanjaro to the stages and businesses on 5 continents, to the sweaty studio of Newton Fitness, to the confines of my own home and to the echoing expanse of my consciousness. So many experiences and so many lessons learned. With these thoughts and lessons come lots of questions. Some positive and some negative. In this time of reflection, I guess I am willing to experience and be honest with all of it and hope you are too.

Sustainability How long can we operate with the resources we have as a planet, as communities, families, and individuals? What is sustainable to nurture our growth and what is not? Food, energy, air, water and money but also time, interest, community, knowledge, desire, creativity and human capacity. Is what I am doing or striving to do sustainable?

Dependability What are the things, people and institutions that we know we can depend upon? Things that will be there day in and day out, through good times and bad times. Am I someone that others can depend upon?

Values What are the real core values that drive our teams, our families, ourselves or myself?

Power Certainly it feels great to have use of all of my powers of perception, positive impact on others, ability to create, etc. But what about my not-so-great powers? As I get bigger, do my negative powers kick in as well and am I even aware of them?

Involuntary replication I know there are patterns in my life that continue to repeat almost without my conscious knowledge. What are they and how can I break the negative ones?

Friends Who are they really? At the end of the day, who are the people that really love you and, no matter what, accept us for who we really are and are just as relentless about seeing us live up to and beyond our own expectations? And, am I really a friend to them in the same way or am I only on the receiving side?

Reach How many people can you or I positively touch in this world and give them increased advantage in the easiest, highest impact, and most replicate-able way?

Gratitude There is so much to really be grateful for, but are we really grateful or do we just go through the motions of being grateful for self-serving reasons in hoping for something in return?

Love Probably the most important value of all. Do you really love your family, your team, your mission, your business, your life, or even yourself?

Responsibility Can I truly eliminate justification and blame from my life? Even tougher, can I eliminate blame to the point of not blaming myself and unhook the link between being responsible, self-blame and guilt?

Vision What is my vision and am I willing to fight to keep the vision of myself alive?

It is on this question that I ask you to look into 2014.

One of my mentors, Mack Newton, said it really well to me today. He said, Dont focus so much on setting new goals or resolutions for the New Year. Focus perhaps on those things that you want to leave behind as you make this transition.

Leave behind the anger, fear and guilt that saddled you in 2013. Strip away the doubts, self-sabotage and moments of beating yourself up and let them fade into the past. Let that stuff go!

If you do, what will be left is an amazing and glorious YOU. Because if there is a real truth in the world, it is you, when you are really you. You know what I mean?

Make 2014 the year that the world sees the real authentic you with all of its brilliance, blemishes and beauty. Let yourself love ALL of that. And be the person who can love others in the same way. If you can do that, there is nothing better.

May the New Year bring you and your loved ones all the prosperity, joy, health, wealth and love that you desire. You deserve it!!

Always be Awesome!

Blair

Real resistance is self-induced. If your own perceived value is diminished, you aren’t motivated enough to try to overcome the resistance.

If you are like most people, there always seems to be something that mysteriously appears between you and your dreams. Say you really want to write a book but never seem to get around to it. The reason is that whatever gets in the way-whether its cleaning your closets, checking your e-mail, or making some phone calls-as more value to you in that immediate moment than the book you want to write. Think about that for a second. Getting all those phone calls made has more immediate value to you than the value of a book that could potentially touch the lives of thousands of people. How ludicrous is that?

How many things are you allowing to get in your way, forming resistance that stops you from being who you’re supposed to be? Because essentially, at some level, what your little voice is saying is that the phone calls or the closet cleaning are more important than sitting down to write your book? more important than being who you are supposed to be.

When you really look at procrastination, the first toll that little voice takes is on your confidence. As a matter of fact, I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years in both sales and leadership, and the issue of effectiveness many times boils down to confidence.

The more times you allow that little voice to procrastinate and justify not doing something, the less confident you become in taking on the bigger tasks that you should be accomplishing.

If your confidence is low, then your resistance will be high, and you will never accomplish the things you set out to do or become who you want to be!

I’ve seen so many people fail to achieve their full potential because they were too busy sorting through piles of resistance. A woman came up to me in one of my workshops and said, I’ve had this idea about a book for a long time. I asked her why she hadn’t written it yet, and she said, Well, I’ve had a lot of great ideas, but I just never seem to get around to it.

I asked her, So whats it going to take for you to do it? Are you going to schedule some time? Develop a list of priorities?

None of that seemed to work for her, until we began to discuss the concept of self-value Resistance often comes from people undervaluing themselves. When you do that, you’re devaluing the natural gift that you have to give, the one you were put on this planet to share. And because of that, everything else becomes more important, which is why you don’t get to it. That’s why you end up frustrated.

That was when the truth hit home for her. Within four months, her book was complete.

If there is frustration about not having fulfilled your potential by now, imagine the frustration you’ll feel somewhere down the road when you’re fifty, sixty, seventy, or eighty years old, as you think to yourself, How come I didn’t do it? Why didn’t I do it? I should have done it. Its too late now and I cant do it. (By the way, its never too late.)? But, keep In mind

Repetition builds conditioning. By repeatedly putting in too many hours at the office, having too many phone calls to make, partying with your friends rather than spending that time at home or with your significant other, you’re conditioning resistance toward building a better relationship. How does that happen? The more times you repeat the scenario of hanging out with your friends and having another drink at the bar, the more value you place on that in-the-moment experience. It becomes more valuable to you at that moment than developing the loving relationship with your family that you may really want more in the long run. You are actually conditioning yourself to place greater value on those other things instead of on your own dreams.

Those things that are standing in front of you are awfully tempting, but you’ve allowed the value of that moment to override the long-term value of a future moment. Why? Because you’ve let the little voice convince you, You deserve this right now, and that will come later, and besides…you’re probably not able to pull that off anyway.

Let me put it another way. Fred, the founder of several successful weight loss companies in America, told a great story that relates to this. Early in the development of his weight loss businesses, he had a woman who was suffering from severe health problems related to her obesity. He attempted to sell her on a weight loss program that included a very simple routine of proper nutrition, exercise, and a healthier lifestyle. It was obvious even to a layman that this woman’s life would be in danger if she did not do something!

Yet, she claimed she could not afford the $450 per month for the program. She said it was too expensive. With a sigh, Fred looked at her, then looked out the window and directed the woman’s attention to a shiny, hot-looking Mercedes convertible parked right outside.

Fred asked her, Would you like to have that car? The woman smiled widely and said, Of course, but…

Fred cut her off. He went on to ask her how much she thought that car was worth. She guessed about $80-90,000. He told her that was pretty close. Then he said, If I told you that you could have that very car for $6,000, would you buy it? She laughed and said, In a heartbeat! A seriousness came over his face as he looked her square in the eye and said, You would pay $6,000 to drive off in that hot Mercedes right now, but wouldn’t pay $450 to get your life back. Is that what you are telling me?

Needless to say, the woman bought the program and got herself back in shape, and Fred has gone on to build great wealth for himself and his businesses. What Fred knew all too well was that most people assess themselves and their future as being less valuable than the things they can have in the present moment. Immediate gratification makes you feel good about yourself now.

Imagine if I put a bag with $10,000 cash in it in front of you right now and said that you could have that money right now, or Id give you $15,000 cash in six months if you work out five days a week for one hour a day and go on a reasonably healthy diet. Which would you do? That $10K is tempting, and most would go for the easy and immediate cash rather than making more money and being healthy. Why?

If your self-esteem is low, you’re going to do whatever it takes to make you feel good in the moment. That’s how blocks and resistance are created. It would be tough for me, too-I might even go for the ten grand. Why? Because it would make me feel good right now. But if I felt really good about me, Id say, No, Im going to go for the $15,000 because Id rather have ten years added my life. It takes a person with high self-esteem to do that.

That doesn’t mean that if you don’t have great self-esteem, you’re all screwed up. It just means if you can develop the ability to step outside yourself, view yourself objectively and say, Whoa! Im devaluing me! That’s whats causing the resistance! you’re starting to win the game. You’re managing the little voice creating all the resistance that stands between you, your goals and the life you dream of having.

Be Awesome,

Blair

This blog post contains excerpt from the book Little Voice Mastery.