sycreed

After traveling extensively to South Africa, Russia, Asia, and Spain recently, and just returning from a 3-week trip that covered the UK and Malaysia, I am once again reminded of the common thread of the human experience: Hope.

I know that every one I meet, everywhere I go shares an un-killable belief that there is something better out there for themselves and their families. I consider this one of the traits that makes us human. I don’t think animals spend much time hoping to build a brighter future. But, I know that all the people I have met have a desire for things to ultimately get better for them.

I also know that when people have this hope driving them, they are willing to work incredibly hard. What I find very exciting is that over the past 3 years, people have come to the realization that the hardest and most rewarding work they must do to get what they want is manage their own “Little Voice”. There has been a significant shift in global recognition that personal development and working on what is going on internally is going to make all the difference in generating the results people want to achieve.

This has led to a major shift in the level of knowledge most people have today than they did just a few years ago. It seems people are reading and educating themselves more than ever to take on the quest of self improvement.

Sometimes, our quest to improve our situation requires we change our environment. I don’t believe that a strong will can overcome the challenges of an unhealthy and unsupportive environment. I was recently asked what the best thing to do would be if you find yourself in an environment that holds you down or offers you no hope for the better life you seek. In almost all cases, I say change your environment.

That might mean packing a bag and moving to a new place, or simply changing the people that you spend the majority of your time with. I know that peoples fear of the unknown is sometimes greater than the difficulties they already exist with everyday. But, if you have hope for a better future and are in an unhealthy or unsupportive environment, it may be time to move on despite your fears.

The reality is, if you make such a drastic change as a new geography or a new group of friends and coworkers, odds are very high in your favor that you will not starve, disintegrate or fail and in fact, you are likely to actually be rewarded for taking action and achieving the better life that motivated your change in the first place.

Many times we find ourselves in very difficult situations that kick up our “fight or flight” mechanisms. This experience is shared by most animals and is meant to serve as a safety mechanism. But, unlike the rest of earth’s creatures, humans (when dealing with other humans, especially) often have a third choice: RESOLVE the differences between the two people.

As one of my mentors Mack Newton says, “Quitting when things get tough should never be your first choice, although it is often the easiest choice to make, because then you don’t have to deal with the problem anymore.” I know that I have been tempted to throw my hands up and walk away so I can go focus on other things, but I choose to remember another credo I live by:

Always keep in mind the person you want to be and be moving towards that goal. So, if you face a challenging situation and you stop, you are actually moving backwards from your goal and giving up on yourself. In reality, you can run, but you cannot hide. And, as we all know, what we resist persists. So ultimately, you will have to face the problem that you are running from and the longer you wait, the bigger the problem is likely to become. Take your medicine early by dealing with the challenge when you first happen upon it so you can keep moving ahead.

If this is the plan, and “flight” is no longer an option and you don’t want to “fight”, how do you move on to “resolve”?

The bottom line is to start by looking for common ground and establishing a shared reality. Try to persuade the other person to step out of the situation with you and discuss what results the outcome has to have to be acceptable to both parties. Treat it like you are on the same team trying to solve a problem where two distinct needs must be met and together you are working on a solution. This has often worked well for me when the other person is willing to engage in the exercise. Sometimes, this approach does not work and I am not sure what to do. That’s when I seek help from my mentors.

Personally, finding great mentors has really worked well for me. Once you experience how quickly mentors can help you discover solutions you could not see on your own, or weigh your options, you understand the completely life changing results they can help bring about. My mentors have ended up being blessings in my life: Teaching me, helping correct my course, helping me grow and ultimately succeed. Remember, we can’t succeed on our own. It takes a team. Don’t forget to include mentors on your team to help you resolve the challenges that will otherwise prevent you from being the person you want to be.

If you are like most people, you go through your life thinking the chatter going on in your brain is “you” talking to yourself in the present. In reality, that chatter taking place is not you talking to yourself now; it is usually chatter from the past that if listened to, can keep you trapped there!

The chatter is taking place by a “Little Voice” that was created when someone told you something, you had an experience, or maybe you saw something happen to someone else and it left a strong enough impression to get replayed in your mind whenever a current situation triggers this memory from the past.

For example, if you loaned someone that you trusted money and were never paid back, the next time someone you trust asks for a loan, this “Little Voice” is likely to come up and say,

“Whoa! You can’t trust this person to pay you back!”

You may even trust this person less once they asked to borrow money (yet, this is the same person they were before they ever asked for the loan!). The “Little Voice” is from the past applying a situation with a completely different person to the person in the present as if he or she were the same person from before. The Little Voice from the past will try to make this decision for you, without regard that you are not reliving the experience from the past. You are in the present, dealing with a new person and a whole new set of circumstances.

Being able to hear a “Little Voice” as chatter about the past and identify it for what it is, a warning from a past time and past situation will help you make better decisions regarding the moment you are in. If there is good information from your “Little Voice”, great, use it! But, don’t let it try to correct a situation that happened in your past through an entirely new situation in the present. We can never go backwards and undo what has already happened, we can only be here, now, moving forward. To do this, you must make your decision using the current data you have and not let your “Little Voice” transfer past feelings and experiences into the experience you are having right now.

Did you know that your self concept will make or break your ability to achieve the goals and dreams you have set for yourself?

It’s true – What you believe about your ability, actually, more importantly, your LACK of ability will determine what you do and do NOT achieve in your life.

As my mentor Mack Newton says “You can never exceed your own self-concept.” If you believe that you’re capable of succeeding, or not, you’re right. If you think you can make a difference in the world, or not, you’re right. And, if you think you can be an effective sales person, or not, you’re right again. YOU have the power to select what to believe about yourself! Choose a positive self-concept. Believe you are capable of achieving your goal and you can have a real chance at doing so. Otherwise, you can doom yourself to failure before even trying.

You have to be able to quiet the “Little Voice” in your mind that is telling you that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, whatever, to do or be who or what you want to be. Do this by telling it to hush, or using the very effective method of yelling, “STOP!” out loud to interrupt it for a moment so you can choose a healthier, more self-affirming thought.

There is a term called a “self-fulfilling prophesy” which says you will fulfill that which you say will come to pass. If you say and believe that you will fail, you will fulfill that statement. Likewise, if you say you will sell $1 million worth of products or start your own business within the next 16 months, that can become the statement that is realized. The statement itself is not the deciding factor, it is the belief behind it that either supports you in doing whatever it takes to achieve your goals, or not even trying because you believe you will fail in the first place.

Want to learn more about how to manage and improve your self-concept so you can start achieving your goals? Join me in Scottsdale, AZ Oct 23 – 24 for the upcoming 2-Day Sales and Leadership Mastery program. We will cover identifying and improving your own self concept. What you’ll learn will stay with you a lifetime and be one of the most important steps you take to help you attain your goals and dreams.

I recently posted the saying “Selling is Not Telling” on my Facebook business page and received many questions asking me what I meant exactly.

I thought it created enough questions to discuss the concept in more detail here on my blog.

Let me start by saying, I applaud salespeople who are passionate about their product or service. I believe you need to be in order to be an effective salesperson. However, being passionate about what you sell can be a double edged sword if you, as a salesperson are more interested in extolling the virtues of what your product or service can do than learning the needs and wants of your client and tailoring your sales presentation accordingly.

For example, let’s say…

I sell sales training services that I am very passionate about; especially as my clients typically experience an increase in sales of 15-35% within the first 6 weeks of working with me. So, I am always excited to talk about my programs and how I think I can help.

Now, I have an appointment with a prospect. If it starts something like this…

I say, “Thank you for your time today! I am going to share with you how I can deliver increased sales revenue of 15-35% for your company by helping your sales people with their presentation skills over a short 6-week period.”

I’m in trouble.

I am not selling my client in this scenario. I am telling my client. Some of you may believe that they are one in the same from this example; after all, I am sharing a solid benefit with a supporting feature – this is a powerful technique, just NOT at this early stage of the sales process. The challenge here is, I am so passionate about the benefit of what I have to offer, that I am not going through the process of being an effective salesperson!

Although there are many steps in the sales process, the one I will focus on for this example is probing, i.e., asking questions and listening. In the example above, I assumed I knew what the client was interested in.

But, what if my prospect is not interested in sales presentation training? Or, increasing sales revenue? I effectively TOLD my prospect what I think she should buy from me.

To sell to her, I should find out what her real needs are and what results she wants to generate with my help. This is where selling begins. Asking lots of questions so I can define the problem and what kind of solution the prospect is seeking. It is with a clear understanding of this information that I can then sell my service.

In the questioning process, I may find out that the prospect’s problem is that she is not trying to increase sales revenue, but profitability. If sales remained the same, but profits increased by 5%, the company would add $2 million to its bottom line in 12 months. Maybe she thinks the presentation skills are fine, it’s the ability to fight off the “Little Voice” in the sales people’s heads saying that if they try to command more money for their products, their customers won’t like them and therefore won’t buy from them anymore. Wow! What a different situation than the one I presented in the initial example!

A true sales person is interested in helping his or her prospect solve a specific problem or fill a need. He should only discuss the solutions that he can provide. If he doesn’t have the right solution for his prospect, he should recommend someone who does if he knows of the right resource. This way, he will strengthen his relationship with both the prospect and the alternative resource allowing for new referrals and opportunities with both parties in the future; vs. trying to manipulate a prospect into buying a product or service that is actually a poor overall solution and having customer service issues and a dissatisfied customer down the road.

So, don’t tell your customer what they should want or need. Instead, use good probing skills to determine what your prospect really wants or needs. Then, sell them on your best fitting solution!