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Little Voice

Snapping Out of a Bad Mood

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Are you having a bad day, or in a lousy mood? We’ve all experienced them. They are the times when things don’t seem to go our way no matter how we try or what we do. Most people don’t know how to shake the negativity and stay stuck there all day.

The fact of the matter is we don’t always have the luxury of indulging our moods, as much as we may want to. The rest of your team, family, customers, or colleagues don’t really care that you’re having a bad day. Others depend on you, and besides, when you’re in a slump, it seems everything just serves to make you more depressed, so there’s very little upside to staying there. Having said that:

What if I told you that YOU have the power to turn your day and your bad mood around? It’s true! I do it all the time and have taught literally hundreds of thousands of people to do the same. It’s called mastering your Little Voice – you know, the Little Voice that just said to you what little voice?. I learned these Little Voice mastery techniques from some of the brightest people on the planet. The techniques are short (they can be practiced in 30 seconds or less) and incredibly powerful.

Here are some of the best techniques I know that have worked for me and thousands of others to pull yourself out of a bad mood, or to just keep positive energy flowing:

How to Deal with Adversity
What do you do when somebody says no to you? If somebody were to say, “Look, we really like you, but we don’t like your product-don’t come around here again, you walk away feeling defeated.” This can happen.

What you say to yourself in the first minute after something likes this happens is very critical.

Don’t attribute the problem to yourself personally. I’m not saying you’re not going to take it personally, because that’s hard not to do. But what’s easier to do is to say, “Obviously, I was not aware of the other circumstances or other products that they were looking at so, while I’m responsible, it’s not all because of me.”

The thing you don’t want to say to yourself is, “There’s something wrong with me, or I’m not cut out for this. I knew this wasn’t going to work.” If you hear yourself saying those things, say, “Stop!” enough times that you stop seeing it that way. Look, it doesn’t even matter if it’s true. You have to learn to control your own Little Voice. So, you attribute it to outside sources.

Secondly, when faced with adversity, say to yourself, “This is an isolated incident, which has no effect on the rest of the week,” as opposed to, “The rest of my day is ruined. The whole week is going to be like this.” You’ve got to turn that around and isolate the incident. Do not allow it to expand beyond that moment. Even say to yourself, “I’ve got a new call to make. This is a new page. It’s over and done with.”

When you are first practicing these techniques, say them out loud. They will have more impact. Some people may think you’re crazy, but that’s okay. If you watch athletes, many times just before their competitions, you can see their lips moving. High jumpers at the Olympics do this all the time. They’re talking to themselves before they go over that bar. They’re applying Little Voice management tools of their own to get themselves over that bar.

And third, never allow to the problem to be global. In other words, don’t say things to yourself like, “The same things happening to me at work. The same things happening to me at home and with my friends, and this is also why I’m broke.” If your Little Voice starts saying that, you have to say, “Stop!” Say that immediately and turn it around. Again, isolate the incident. Say something like, “Obviously I had a tough time with this call, but I still have great relationships. This doesn’t happen all the time.”

We’ve all felt that poor me thing, wondering why these kinds of things always happen to us. The truth is, they don’t. Think about it. Look at your track record. The truth is that the number of times it actually happens to you is relatively small to the rest of what is happening in your life. Somebody backs into your car and you immediately think, “Why does this always have to happen to me?” It doesn’t always happen to you. It happens to you once every five years or so. If it were happening to you all the time, it would be happening five times a day.

So you have to manage your Little Voice carefully because it can lie to you. So, after you say, “Stop!” you isolate the incident. Then stack the evidence in your favor and say to yourself, “This doesn’t happen to me in any other part of my life; it’s very isolated. It’s not an indication of anything else except that this was a bad experience.” Say it out loud, even if you don’t believe it. It will still help re-frame how your mind sees it.

Celebrate All Wins!

If you can celebrate when things are going right, it will help you isolate incidents and keep-in mind all the things that are going well in your life. To do this:

Capitalize on even your sBlair-Singer-9b (1)mallest of successes: Did you get out of bed this morning? Take the dog for a walk? Make yourself or a loved one breakfast? Those are ALL wins! Focus on what you DID and not on what you didn’t!

 

When you have a success here’s how to celebrate:
1. You want to anchor the experience of success into your body whether it’s with a high-five, a clenched fist, or some other method you prefer. No matter how small the success may seem, celebrate all your wins- and the wins of everybody around you as well. This helps you become accustomed to being a winner and to recognizing that feeling and associating it with yourself.

It also becomes contagious to those around you. Celebrating the wins of others is also an excellent form of acknowledgment and it helps to remove any resentment you may have toward others, or that they may have toward you. It creates the feeling that everyone is constantly winning. So when you see a win, celebrate it even if the other person is a bit shy about it.

So, with every success you achieve, anchor it in by making a fist and saying “Yes!” Do it a couple of times to emphasize the point. Or, if there is someone else around, give that person a high-five, a handshake… something physical (I don’t recommend headbutts).

2. Now that you’ve mastered the physical part of celebrating wins, you need to deal with your Little Voice. When you get a win, what does your Little Voice say about it? Does it say that you were lucky, or does it say that you earned it? Don’t let your Little Voice diminish you accomplishments. Studies show that if you tell yourself, “I deserve this because I’ve earned it,” or “I deserve this because I was prepared,” your energy and resilience will increase.

3. Tell yourself that the rest of your week is now going to be great. Have you ever reached into your and pocket and pulled out a $20 bill that you had forgotten you put there. From then on, your day starts going great. People start opening doors for you. All the traffic lights turn green for you. Think about it in those terms. Don’t think about it in the same terms your Little Voice might, and say to yourself, “Well, it’s a win, but I still have all these other problems.” If your Little Voice starts throwing those little darts, tell it to “Stop!” When you hear it going in the wrong direction, say “Stop!” Say it out loud if you need to. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to disrupt and reverse that normal pattern.

4. Lastly, let your win just cascade into the rest of your life. You need to tell yourself, “The whole week is going to be great, and because of this I’ll bet work is going to be awesome today. My golf game will probably even get better!” If you find the $20 bill in your pocket, you say, “You know, this is a statement of my life. My marriage is great. My business is great. This is a sign from the cosmos that things are going to continue to be great.”

Now, I know it sounds ridiculous, but when you think about it, this is what great athletes do. They take the smallest of wins and make them great. How many times have you seen a football game where a team is struggling to come from behind? Each time they gain a few yards, they celebrate. They jump up and down, high-fiving each other and laughing. Why? Because it builds energy, hope, and confidence. They know they have to build that energy in order to carry themselves on to success.

By simply reading this, you’ve probably found that your body and emotions have shifted a bit. This is a very powerful exercise to try when you’re either coaching or being coached by someone else. You can do this with yourself, with your kids, or with your spouse.

Your spirit naturally wants to be big, and this process unleashes that.

Incorporate these techniques into your life and you will find that you can change your mood in seconds and start to create and experience more successes for yourself everyday!

To learn other powerful Little Voice Management techniques, go to www.LittleVoiceMasteryTechniques.com.

The Missing Part of the Success Formula Equation

If you had read my previous post, [Discover the formula for business success], then you would know that the sell-team-teach model is an important and strategic process to help you close the gap on reaching your dreams and earning you lots of money.

But what if I told you that this technical plan had one serious flaw? The ignorance of this flaw could not only kill your chances of achieving your dreams, but it will make you eternally frustrated!

The business or technical development formula is: Sales equals income. Teach others to sell. Build reliable systems. While the knowledge of this model is very important, there is something else missing that will be critical to your success in business and in life.

Let’s take a look at your brain. People say you use 50% of your brain, but let’s say you use only 10% of your brain consciously. So, what’s going on in the other 90% of your brain?

We call that 90% the subconscious, and it’s subconscious because it stores all of these memories and experiences that you don’t consciously think about all day long. It can include negative memories like the time you lost a lot of money, had your heart-broken, were disappointed in something or someone; but it can also be positive memories, like when you won something or had a major accomplishment. All of those memories and thoughts are stored in there.

Let’s think about the sell-team-teach model. When you’re trying to generate income, you get responses like “I’m not interested” or “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” What happens to you in those moments? You subconsciously think about all of those moments when you didn’t feel like you were good enough… maybe you can’t really do this.

All of those thoughts we call the “little voice.”

Now, if you’re thinking right about now, “But I don’t have a little voice,” that’s the little voice I am talking about.

Everybody has one (several actually). They can be good or bad, but the most debilitating ones, the ones that crush us, are those that say Oh, I can do it tomorrow, or I’m not good enough, or I don’t think I’m smart enough for this, or I’m not pretty enough. All of those things are keeping you from making sales calls. Or closing the biggest deal of your career. Or approaching the love of your life.

These voices occur in the heat of the moment. When emotions are running high, you react instinctively based on what that little voice is saying to you.

The key to reaching your goals in life, to making more money, and to forming important relationships is to manage the little voice and get it out of the way of your path. Recognize it and master it through some of the techniques that are found in my book Little Voice Mastery.

So, by now you realize that reaching your fullest potential is a two-pronged approach: you have the sell-team-teach model which acts like your business development plan. Or you have a technical development plan. Health plan. Relationship plan. And taking control of your little voice is your personal development plan.

Here’s another reason why this plan is so important. Think about everyone who wants to get fit, including yourself. It’s not rocket science: Stay active, sleep well, don’t eat bad foods. If it’s so easy, then why are so many people struggling with losing weight? It’s because their little voice holds them back from the things they need to do in order to achieve the goal of being fit.

To find out what area of your life the little voice is hurting you (or helping you in some cases), take the Little Voice Diagnostic. Once completed, you’ll receive a report with the areas you need to master to experience the success you are seeking.

Need some coaching around managing your little voice? Click here to schedule a free 45-Minute Consultation with a Blair Singer Certified Coach.

You can also access 21 techniques to help you master your negative little voice. Get them here and choose the one tailored to the part of your life or business that needs the most help. Learn it, memorize it and you can transform your life in just 30 seconds or less if you have the right technique for the right little voice that pops up.

Be Awesome!

Dealing with Greater Complexity, with Less Stress!

It never gets easier, you just get better.
—Unknown

Imagine if you were completing the same task over and over again. Each day you do it, it seems that the task gets easier, right? Well, not really, because the task is the same — you’re just getting better at it.

But the better you get, the bigger your game needs to be. Otherwise, you won’t feel challenged, and it won’t be as rewarding.

That’s how it works in the world. You work hard on mastering the skills for now, so you’re prepared to take on the bigger challenges next. In sports, you move from beginner, to intermediate to advanced and then professional. You become a better parent for your growing children. You become a better entrepreneur so you can grow your business.

And each step you take builds confidence.

That confidence is important. It’s necessary to help you overcome that Little Voice in your head that causes the stress in your life. And that stress is what’s preventing you from advancing to the next level.

dealing_stressLet’s take a look at some of the things that your little voice may say when you’re faced with a challenge:

  • I’m not successful enough.
  • I’m not a good enough business person.
  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I can’t.
  • I’m too tired.
  • I’m too young (or old).
  • Nobody’s going to like it.
  • Who wants to hear from me?

Do any of these sound familiar? Do they appear in your subconscious? They rob your time, make you prioritize other, more trivial things. You get tired. You procrastinate. All the chatter your little voice makes when you’re thinking about the next challenge is pretty poisonous.

Identify your little voice and get to understand where it comes from. Why are you letting it stop you dead in your tracks? Don’t let it prevent you from fighting the battle to win the war. No one wants to be stuck on the same level, over and over again.

There’s a hero, and there’s a villain inside of you. Who’s going to win today?

For every win you experience, your confidence level goes up. And as we’ve already established, the higher your confidence, the less stress you have. And who doesn’t want less stress in their lives?

And when you have less stress and more confidence, you’re more willing to take on the larger complexities of life and business. You can play the bigger games.

After every big win, you get bigger, and enjoy better and more valuable rewards.

You are supposed to deal with greater complexity, not more stress.

Mastering little voice management reduces stress, so that dealing with greater complexity is more fun and more lucrative. It’s like playing a bigger game with better players and more options.

It’s like getting better and better at the game and wanting to advance in it. In that mode, you don’t want to make the game simpler. You want it to be more challenging; otherwise, there’s no reason to play. Think about games like PlayStation and Game-boy, in which the goal is always to get to higher and higher levels of complexity. Each level requires greater levels of mastery, and in turn, you develop more confidence. You don’t want to go backward you want to go forward. It’s natural. You want to play the game faster, and you blaze through the simpler levels just so you can get to the good part.

But somehow, in life, most people struggle with increased complexity. It’s not about your brain capacity it’s your little voice!

Inside you, there’s a champion and a loser. There’s an angel and a devil. There’s a hero and a villain. The question is, which one is going to win today? Do you even know which one is controlling you right now?

Once you can identify them then you can successfully manage them. No matter who you are, I suspect you know that there is an even bigger, better person inside you. That’s true for me, too. But what stands in the way of that person fully emerging? How do you go from Point A, where you are now, to Point B, which is being the most powerful, passionate, wealthy, and healthy person you know?

For me, what stands in my way is me! And I know its the same for you.

In the book SalesDogs, we said, You don’t have to be an attack dog to be successful in sales. Everybody has a talent; everybody has a different way of being successful – as a poodle, a basset hound, or a retriever. It doesn’t really matter which one of the other dogs you are. Everybody has something valuable to offer. So why don’t we offer it? What’s the resistance?

For example, your internal conversation may start like this: Why don’t you start your own business? You have always wanted to do it.

Then the resistance shows up like this nagging chatter of voices, saying things like: Well, because you’re not smart enough. You don’t know how to set up a business. You’ll starve to death if you try to do that. It’s too risky.

So what causes this? Perhaps you have lost the ability to value yourself, your ideas, and your abilities because you have fallen into the trap of comparing yourself to others. With every success story that the media churns up, with every achievement you see the other guy get you either get challenged or depressed.

never_good_enoughAnd so, you don’t start the program for kids that you constantly think about, or write that book you’ve dreamed of writing? Because you don’t value what you have to offer. You think you aren’t smart enough or that what you’re offering wont be good enough. You say to yourself:

I’m not successful enough. I’m too old.
I’m not a good enough business person.
I don’t know how to write a book.
I can’t.
I don’t know how, and even worse, my information is not that good, not that new.
Its not that different.
I’m too tired.
Who’s going to read it?
I’m too young.
Nobody’s going to like it.
Who wants to hear from me?

You have the dream, but there seems to be resistance. That little voice starts creating big old blocks to achieving your dreams. Stuff comes up, robbing you of the time you would spend on your dream. Other things take greater priority. You get tired. You procrastinate. Sound familiar?

It becomes more important to clean out your garage than to sit down and write a book, because no one is going to read it anyway. This book is about valuing yourself. It’s about overcoming the little voice in your brain that says you aren’t up for the task at hand.

You must learn how to rehabilitate yourself and assess your value properly. Once you do, your value will grow.

The reason many people never get to their dreams is because they are losing the ultimate little voice battle being waged in their brains. I’m talking about their assessment of themselves and who they are-their worthiness, their abilities, and whether they have anything to offer that anybody else would be interested in.

Everybody has something to give, something to offer, even if it’s already been offered before. You have a different way of looking at it. Your idea may appeal to millions of people you’ve never met before who think the way you think.

That’s why it’s important to get a handle on little voice management-so that ultimately, you can make your dream come true and put your idea out to the world for other people to appreciate and benefit from. Resistance (stress) is just little voice stuff standing in your way.

How Competitive are you… Really?

Are you super competitive?

Do you believe that competition is necessary to measure your performance, affirm your abilities and legitimize your skills? Do you measure and compare yourself to others to see how you “stack up”? Do you even compete with yourself?

If you said, “Yes!” you’re not alone.

All our lives we’ve been told we must compete in order to succeed. “You have to be better than ________!” You have probably learned you have to outrun, outmaneuver and outperform others – and when you do so you are praised for your victories and rewarded with public recognition, scholarships, money, positions and more.

But, what if I told you there is a much better way … that there is a HEALTHIER, MORE EFFECTIVE and BETTER WAY TO WIN at any game you play rather than falling into the typical competitive behavior that we learned while growing up?

I invite you to watch this amazing and empowering video from my mentor Mack Newton who shares in detail why competition is actually not good or healthy for you. His approach gives you a completely different way to win and offers a solution to help avoid the traps of competition. This methodology will help you achieve your goals faster than ever while experiencing a calmer mindset, less stress, lower tension and an overall better, happier lifestyle… and allow you to WIN MORE!!!

Just click on the play button below to watch this video now!

Be awesome!

Turning Lessons from 2012 into a New Year of Success!

thoughts-you-haveTo pick up the recent holiday issue of Economist magazine entitled “A Rough Guide to Hell” depicting the woes of climate change, economic trauma, gluttony and violence, you would have to assume tough times. To watch the news on any given network or internet news sight you could certainly get depressed as well and would even ask yourself is 2013 going to be more of the same?

Yet over this last year, I have travelled more of the world than ever before and have noticed one common thread, particularly outside of the US. It is a thread of hope, toughened optimism and the belief that life will get better. It is a faith in cultures both economically rich and poor that “education and learning” is the ticket to a bright and prosperous future.

While the gap between rich and poor seems to be widening in certain areas, economists have observed that the rich and poor gap is actually lessening globally. Why? Simple. Countries driving billions of dollars toward educating their populations at an early age is making a huge difference. For them, there is hope and aspiration. The question is, what are you learning?

My point is, “reality is created by agreement.” The agreement of those you hang out with and the agreement you have with yourself.

As my friend Mack Newton says….”achievement of what you want is ‘inevitable’ if your mindset, self-concept and attitude are right and if you eliminate the popular addiction to negative thinking.

So as we cross the cusp of year’s end and new beginning, the choice is not so much about what seems to be happening. It is all about what you are disciplined enough to focus on. If you are like me, I would love 2013 to be the best so far. So amid the blizzard of violence, political nonsense, economic uncertainty and paranoia….how do you create a reality for yourself, your family and your community that brings you the best.

2012 laid out the roadmap for learning how to create that reality. Here are the top seven lessons as I see it:

  1. The “steering wheel of your life” as Mack would say, are continually setting GOALS. Not a resolution, not a wish and not a hope…. Goals that are truly yours, that you own, deserve and have a burning desire and belief in. Not setting them may exempt you from possible failure, but condemn you to a life of either random and momentary inspiration or helplessness.
  2. Through the turbulent times, you should learn by now to TRUST yourself. You have been through a lot. You have weathered many storms emotionally, financially and spiritually. Just know that you have embodied powerful lessons and that you are not a “rookie” any more. Trust that you can make the right decisions, do the right things and if you mess up… that you surely know how to correct and improve to have the life you want. You are qualified.
  3. No matter what has happened or what may happen…. stay PRESENT. Whether it is in a critical moment in your career or more importantly in a simple moment with those you love, stay connected and 100% present. Take it one push-up at a time, one hour of presentation at a time, one conversation at a time. Do not let your Little Voice detour you to the thousands of addicting distractions that tempt you. Do not put your focus on what lies ahead or what has already transpired. Stay present from your heart to your eyes, to their eyes to their heart. I learned in 2012 that the world will suddenly work in a magical way for you when you do this.
  4. Cherish and show gratitude toward those TRUE FRIENDS and PARTNERS that share your values, your visions and who love you for exactly who you are….not who they think you are or who you think they want you to be. Those who you surround yourself with create the context for helping you inevitably getting what you want and being who you want to be – without obligation. Learning and reaffirming who these people are in my life has been the greatest gift of 2012. I am sure they are yours as well!!!
  5. Be clear on your VALUES and let them govern every decision. In 2012, like you, I experienced things that forced me to get clear on who I really am. For me at ten thousand feet on the flanks of Mt. Kilimanjaro the value of LOVE came roaring to the forefront of my life as being the single most important value. It boosted me to new levels of relationship with my family, associates and myself. Values such as honor, integrity, learning and gratitude rounded out my top five. Having a Code of Honor that protects those values can mean the difference between fulfillment and regret.
  6. Whether it is age or experience or just getting smarter, it has become clear that PATIENCE is critical to success and happiness. If the context is right, and the goals are clear, the Universe will follow a due process. Learning to minimize the Little Voice that gets irritated with lag, that becomes intolerant of others, that wants to grab the course of events and drive it has been a huge lesson. It could be waiting in a never ending line, stuck in traffic, waiting for responses from buyers or sellers, listening to the same repeated excuses, which can result in inappropriate and impatient action. It’s that action that can ultimately either disrupt or abort the process of transformation and growth that you are looking for.
  7. Most of all for 2013, your ability to master your Little Voice by controlling your Thoughts and Emotions will make the biggest difference. Does your emotion drive primarily on negative thoughts of fear, worry, guilt or non-deservedness? Or does your emotion drive on positive excitement, anticipation, love, confidence and high self-esteem? Either way, your emotions are the fuel and passion behind your actions and will drive them in one way or the other.

Like I said….all around you there is a blizzard of negativity fueled by high emotion (and sometimes low intelligence). Did you buy in or did it make you stronger? 2012 was a training year to prepare for 2013 and beyond. The question is: “What did you learn?”

I hope that you learned how big of a person you really are. If you check the record I am sure you will recall moments of you actually feeling how great you are. If you learned just that…..this next year will lay before you a feast of successes in all areas of your life.

You have heard me quote Bucky Fuller before by saying that those moments are “Licks of the ice cream….” and that you would only be given licks…” if you were meant to have the whole cone!”

We love you and are honored to be part of your world,

Remember to love yourself and always BE AWESOME!

Happy New Year!!

Blair

Use Positive Events to Build Positive Life Experiences

6 Tips to Being Happier and More Successful

I have studied under many mentors, all using different approaches to help people find ways to lead happier, more fulfilled lives. In this blog post, I will share some of the highlights that I practice myself, because I found each of them to have tremendous value, and when combined have helped create dramatic shifts in my life. I encourage you to employ them as part of your own daily living and create the positive life experience you want to have for yourself!

  1. When something good happens in your life – celebrate it! This allows you to pause and truly enjoy your life in that moment.
  2. While you are celebrating and experiencing that moment of emotional joy, also take a moment to be grateful to have this experience in your life. When you express gratitude for what you have and do so with a positive attitude, you are sending a message to this Universe that you would like to attract more of the same. This may be a bit “woo woo” for some of you, but it won’t hurt to try it.
  3. Envision your dreams for yourself and then set goals that you can use to drive your daily activities towards achieving your dreams. These goals will keep you moving towards the things that will deliver the most happiness to you. Goal setting helps you get what you want quickly and efficiently instead of just hoping and wishing for things to magically appear in your life (which usually does not work).
  4. If you fall short of achieving a specific goal, you can look at what you DID achieve and learn in the process of pursuing the goal and celebrate THAT win (see point #1)!positive_events_blogpost_image
  5. Whenever something positive in your life happens, own it.
    Yep, that’s right – take ownership that you helped make it happen (even if it seems like this wonderful thing fell from the sky into your lap) and tell yourself these two things:
    a. Good stuff like this happens to you ALL THE TIME and
    b. YOU DESERVE IT.It wasn’t a one-off strike of luck (you’re always lucky and the Universe knows you deserve good things, so it sends them your way all the time). Dr. Marty Seligman wrote a book called Learned Optimism which talks about the significant statistical increase in sales performance for sales people who have an optimistic outlook over salespeople who do not. You may not get why it works, you may not be a “woo woo” kind of person – but the statistical proof backs up that this behavior and thought process can actually help you experience more success in your life… so try it!
  6. My mentor, Mack Newton, taught me to use affirmations when facing a challenging situation. Try an affirmation like: “I like myself! I CAN do this!” Doing this will help you briefly tap your energy source to help you keep going when you doubt your ability to carry on. Repeat it as often as needed until you are done. It has helped me in countless workouts, when I think I have nothing left, to keep going. I employ this technique and always access energy that I did not know was there to carry me through!

There you have it, 6 things you can start implementing in your life TODAY for a dramatic improvement of how you experience your life and the success you create in it!

For more tips on creating business success, follow me at: Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.